Trials and Tribulations
by green frogs
Summary: The children of our favorite characters are back at Hogwarts, causing mischief wherever they go. The Wizarding Wars are over, but there are even greater trials ahead like kissing cousins, vampire boyfriends, and hot Bulgarian seekers. How will Lily Potter get through it all? Will she find a boyfriend for cousin Rose? Will she murder Scorpius before the year is over?


"Do you know who's been looking absolutely gorgeous lately?" Lily asked Rose as they sat at the end of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, munching on toast on a lazy, spring Sunday morning.

Rose looked up from her copy of the Daily Prophet and raised an eyebrow. "If you're going to say Pascal Zabini again, I think I'm going to vomit."

"No, although you have to admit he is the finest man in Hogwarts," Lily said with a small, wistful sigh as her eyes roamed the Ravenclaw table, looking for a head of dark curls. But to her disappointment, she found just a few first years playing chess.

Rose rolled her eyes and moved back to the Prophet. "Who is the latest victim?"

"Louis."

That shocked Rose enough to look up straight into Lily's brown eyes. "He's our _cousin_," Rose said with disgust.

"_Adopted_ cousin," Lily amended with a smug grin. "And he's mostly Veela."

"Are you really out of people to date that you're checking out members of the family?" Rose asked with exasperation as she turned back to the Prophet.

"Can you blame me? Half of this school is related to us. It's so unfair."

Rose laughed. "You are so horny all the time."

Lily sighed, "It's because there's actually no one to date in Hogwarts!"

"I thought you were dating Colin Finnegan?"

"Psh. Like that lasted any longer than one snog. We both know he's mad about Lucy and won't do anything about it besides hook up with almost every girl in our year. It's disgusting," Lily commented with condescension.

"And yet you still hooked up with him, even though Lucy is our cousin and you know that she likes him too."

"Stop lecturing me, Saint Rose. We can't all be as perfectly prudish as you are, with our heads stuck in a book half the time."

"It's not like I don't want to date and hook up with people. It's just that no one is interested," Rose said with an innocent look and a small shrug.

"Are you kidding me? You're like the most gorgeous girl in your year. And your friends are some of the hottest guys in Hogwarts. Just choose one of them."

"They don't see me as a girl," said Rose casually, as if she had already come to that conclusion a long time ago. "And as you so lovingly mentioned, most of them are related to me."

"I don't believe it. I think it's just an excuse because you don't think any of them are good enough for you, and you enjoy being Saint Rose. If I have to hear my mother, or anyone else in the family for that matter, extol one of your many accomplishments anymore, I think I'm going to have to hex my ears shut forever."

Before Rose could retort, a tall blonde boy dropped into the chair next to her and whipped the Prophet from her hands.

"Scorp! Get your own!" Rose complained as she tried to get her paper back.

"Sharing is caring," was all Scorpius said before he buried his nose in the paper and started to drink _her_ pumpkin juice.

"Scorpius, you're a guy right?" Lily asked mischievously.

That comment caused Scorpius to lower the Prophet and look at the youngest Potter with annoyance. "Last time I checked."

"Do you find Rose attractive?"

Instead of the flustering and blushing that she had expected, Scorpius simply said, "No."

Rose punched him in the arm while Lily stared at him from across the table, flabbergasted. She had expected Scorpius, of all people, to have at least a secret crush on Rose. They were basically attached at the hip, for goodness sakes. "No? Seriously? Not even a little bit."

Scorpius shrugged, still with the same expression on his face as though he were stating simple transfiguration techniques that they learned in their first days of Hogwarts. "She's like a mate."

Rose didn't know whether to turn to Lily and smugly tell her, "I told you so," or hex Scorpius till he was near death.

Scorpius must've sensed the murderous intent because he quickly said, "I mean, for me, of course. But don't worry Rose. There are tons of guys in Slytherin who think you're hot. Actually, Josh Bones was just talking about how he would like to shag you. Albus almost beat the shit out of him in the Quidditch locker rooms last Friday for that. It was hilarious."

Rose sat there, speechless as she watched her best friend chuckle before continuing to read the Prophet. She didn't expect him to see her as a girl, but it would be nice if he could at least be like Al and protect her reputation a little. It was just like Scorp to think of everything as a big joke.

"See what I have to deal with?" she said to Lily as they munched on their toast.

Lily nodded sympathetically. "We're going to be single forever, aren't we?"

"I'm sure you'll meet some nice Durmstrang guys when the Triwizard Tournament starts up next fall. Maybe even catch the attention of Vladimir Krum," Scorp commented as he skimmed the recent Quidditch World Cup results. "He just won the quarterfinals for Bulgaria and turning out to be an even better seeker than his father."

"Don't ever mention that name when you're around my family," Rose said with a small shudder.

"Why not?" Scorp asked curiously as he looked at the two girls.

"My father says Viktor Krum is his mortal enemy," Rose said with a roll of her eyes. She loved her dad, but sometimes, he was just ridiculous.

"I thought my father was his mortal enemy?" Scorp said, confused.

"Uncle Ron has many mortal enemies," Lily contributed helpfully. "But mum doesn't really like Viktor Krum either. When she played for the Holyhead Harpies, I think Krum's team destroyed their chances at the European Cup or something. She's never gotten over it, poor thing."

"Is she commenting at the World Cup this year?" Rose asked. When aunt Ginny retired from her professional career for the Holyhead Harpies and decided to have children, she started a brilliant career as a sports correspondent for the Daily Prophet. She also did occasional commentary for matches around England and Ireland. For the first time since before the Second Wizarding War, the World Cup was being held in England, and aunt Ginny wanted nothing more than to perform the commentary.

Lily smiled proudly. "Yep. She just wrote me about it. She's absolutely excited, and so are we. You know it means we're going to have the best seats ever!"

"Does that invitation extend to the rest of the family as well?" Fred Weasley asked with his cheeky grin as he walked up towards them.

Lily stood up and hugged her older cousin with zeal. "Of course, darling. But only if you find me the most perfect dress. Something that'll make Dominique jealous as hell."

Fred laughed as he slung an arm around his red-haired cousin. "Love, it's not a competition. We're all family."

Lily stuck her tongue out immaturely at Fred before turning to her other cousin, who was peering over Scorpio's shoulders at the Prophet. "Let's go Rosie. I need all day to find a nice dress robe for Victoire and Teddy's wedding."

"You have a million other dress robes in your closet," Rose commented without taking her eyes off the paper.

"Well you need a dress robe at least. If I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure James and Frank puked on it last time."

Rose groaned. "Ugh I completely forgot. It's just like those two idiots to get pissed in front of the entire family and throw up on _my_ robes."

"Get blue. It goes with your eyes," Fred informed her with a small, sympathetic smile.

"Are you coming with us?" she asked Fred. He had the best fashion sense in the family and was the favored consultant of many a girl at Hogwarts.

"Yeah. I have to pick up something for Lysander's birthday," Fred said.

"Aw, that's adorable!" Lily exclaimed as she thought of her handsome cousin's current boyfriend, Lysander Scamander, son of Lily's godmother. "Why can't we find nice boys like you did Fred?"

"Because they're gay," Scorp said helpfully.

Lily scowled at Scorpius. "It is such a shame all the boys in our lives are gay or related to us or as stupid as Scorpius."

Scorpius didn't take the bait and only smiled very annoyingly at Lily over the top of the Prophet.


End file.
